A Fresh Start

I moved this weekend - well, yesterday. I pretty much packed and moved all in one day because that's the way I roll. I detest moving so I want to do it for the shortest amount of time possible. That resulted in me being grumpy/emotional last night because I was exhausted, and sore today because... I'm out of shape. And I moved a mattress that was really too heavy for me. Get 'er done though, ya know?

Where did I move? Oh, just back in with the parents. I was supposed to move in with a friend, but that didn't work out, so my parents are taking me back in so I won't be homeless. THANKS, GUYS!!

I actually think moving back home is something the Lord is forcing me to do for my own good. This was a rough year for me for a lot of reasons. I learned a lot about myself this year and what kind of environment I need to be in to really be healthy. I essentially lived by myself this year and I found out that that isn't good for me. I isolate myself. Then I become lonely. I think living at home, however long this season ends up being, will really be a time of restoration and healing for my soul. And there's no way in hell that I'm going to be able to isolate myself because not only am I living with my parents, but my brother and sister-in-law are living her as well. So it's a big happy family.

I left this morning for work at 6:15am. And by 6:15am, two people (my mom and brother) had said to me, "Have a good day!" I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but when I was getting in the car, it just struck me how much I liked that. It's not like I've actively been missing someone wishing me a good day in the morning, but it's one of those things that when you've been without it, and then get it again, you realize how much it means to you. I think this is going to be good for me. God knows what He's doing.

I have my work cut out for me still in the whole unpacking department. And i desperately need to paint my room. I painted my room in high school - 3 walls blue, 1 wall coral. It's not.cute. So I will be painting and unpacking and organizing this weekend.

For now, this is how I'll be living...

Have a great week!
Peace,
Emily

First Week

I just finished my first week in my new job. 

Whew. 

It feels like I've worked at the Y for 2 seconds and 2 months all at the same time. I also have been feeling all week like someone is going to come up to me and be like "Psych!! This was a dream. You still work at Christ Church!" It feels unreal. And really good. And very sad. SO MANY EMOTIONS.

Anyway, I had an all day training on Tuesday that was probably more confusing than helpful, although as the week's gone on more things from the training have made sense. I think this is the type of job that you could have weeks of training, but until you get into it, it's not going to make a lot of sense. It was great to finally get out to my site on Wednesday and have a visual for what it's going to be like. The woman who was the site director last year was super organized for which I am eternally grateful. Organization is NOT my strong point. (Just ask Dean why we switched from a shared table to separate desks after about 6 months.) But since she was so organized, all I have to do is maintain. So there's tons of resources and it's laid out really well. PTLOH. It gives me a lot more freedom to be creative when I don't have to figure out where to put what in the 10 billion cabinets and file cabinets and shelves.

I'll have two more days to prepare, and then Wednesday the kiddos come. I cannot wait. I am so excited to get started and build relationships and make mistakes and figure out what works. I am excited to practice my spanish with non-english speaking parents. I'm excited to get to know these kids' personalities and strengths and quirks. I'm excited for the ridiculous things they'll say and the sacred conversations we'll have. 

I like my supervisor, Jason, a lot. He has so much confidence in me, which has given me a lot more confidence in myself. At moments when I feel like I should be freaking out, his confidence in my ability to do this job well reassures me. I feel like, "OK. He knows what it takes to do this job way better than I do, so if he's not worried about it, I shouldn't be either." It's made this week much more peaceful than I think it would've been otherwise. 

And now I have two days to recharge and relax, and I am planning to take full advantage of them. 

God is so good. His provision and sovereignty in my life amaze me, and I am so thankful for His patient kindness and grace to me. 


Peace, 
Emily

P.S. I think licensing and paperwork probz are going to be my least favorite part of this job. Just sayin'.

A New Adventure

I've sat down a couple of times this past week and tried to write this post. There is so much emotion wrapped up in this story and I am terrible at expressing my emotions. :) But here's the gist of it...

I am called to work with the poor and marginalized. I have known that for as long as I can remember.

I worked at Christ Church for two years and am forever grateful for that time. I learned so much - a lot of which I haven't been able to process yet.

I felt God calling me to pursue the call to work full time with the poor and marginalized. I discerned. Talked to people I trust. Prayed. Cried. And finally listened at the beginning of the summer.

I talked to Dean about it and he was awesome, as usual. So supportive, kind, and selfless.

I found/was offered a job and things happened quickly.

My last day at Christ Church was Sunday, August 6. (Last day on staff, I will still worship there - duh.)

I started my new job today.

I am a Site Supervisor for a Before & After School Program with the YMCA at Fairview Elementary in Olathe, KS. I think it's going to be a blast. The demographics at the school are pretty diverse; I'll get the chance to break out my rusty spanish for sure. :) Around three quarters of the students are "economically disadvantaged". There will probably be around 60 kids in my after school program.

School starts a week from tomorrow and that's when I'll really get to start experiencing this new chapter of my life. This week is preparing. It's funny; I know very little about the details of the job, even after an all day training today, and I'm not freaking out. I don't know if it's because this has been such an emotional two weeks that I don't have the capacity to freak out (haha) or if I'm resting in the fact that it will all work out. That information will be given to me as I need it and that I'm going to kick ass with the program. That's probably it.

I'm sure as time goes on I'll be able to talk more about what my time at Christ Church meant to me and what hopes I have for the future, but for now I've got to stick to the basics.

Peace,
Emily

community

Community is so important.
Duh, right?
We are created to be beings of relationships. friendships. conflicts. all of that.
I feel incredibly lucky to have the community that I do in Kansas City. People that I do life with that love me in spite of my faults and because of Jesus.
I'm not very good at taking pictures in the moment - trying to get better at that - so this is just a tiny glimpse into the fun and good and real of my community.

Grace and Eric had sweet baby Theodore. This is day 1, I think.

The Lauras, Meg, and I had a girl's night. We didn't have a corkscrew to open the bottle of wine so we had to improvise. It totally worked, btw.

This is sweet Daphne Morriss (belongs to Lauren and Michael). She's wonderful.

Baby Theo is too cute to handle. Look at that face!!

Lauren (Daphne's mama) and I have been friends since 7th grade. That's like 13 years, folks. So thankful for her continued friendship.

Every other Sunday (soon to be every Sunday!) a group of us gather for family dinners - dinner, worship, Bible study, and fun. This week Drew made pork chops and homemade mac and cheese - SO GOOD, you guys.

I really love these people a lot. I am so thankful for their love and support in my life.

Rest, or lack thereof

Recently, I'm having a hard time resting. Even when I get home from work and have nothing left on the schedule for the day, I find myself working. Or my mind won't shut down. Or I remember something I forgot that day. It's exhausting. It's also not typical of me. 

I'm usually pretty great at relaxing. Watch 3 hours of Parks and Rec? OK! Read an entire book in one weekend? Duh! Sleep in til 10 am on a Saturday? Done. But not these days. 

And it's not a good thing. It means that when I'm actually at work, I'm tired. I took a few high school girls down to Westport this afternoon to get tea and shop and I was so tired. I tried to be fun and engaging and hopefully I succeeded most of the time, but I don't want to have to try at that. I love those girls. That part of my job is my absolute favorite and I squandered it today, internally anyway.

I've got to find a better way. I need to put my trust in Jesus. To rest in His promise that He loves me every day, all day, the same. He loves me if I forget to send an e-mail to a parent. He loves me if I don't get everything done in a day. He loves me in my confusion and in my anxiety. He loves me when I'm not trusting Him. 

John 14:27:  ^"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." 

Peace.

taking a breath

it may not have been great timing for me to start my blog right before the busiest season of the year. i've neglected this thing. but now i have room to take a breath. the last month has been very busy. full of good things. it has also been exhausting. i'm thankful for the next two days where there is nothing on my calendar except going to the pool with my sis.

some things i've learned/been reminded of this past month:

- God is much bigger than i am. his plans are different than mine. surprising. scary. and beautiful.

- the people who work at Christ Church are incredible. i got to be reminded of that on our staff retreat at the beginning of the month. i dare you to find a group of people more hilarious, dedicated, or intent on doing God's will.

- babies are the best. my friends grace and eric had baby theodore on june 7. he's seriously the best.

- God doesn't care how old you are. he wants to use you now. i saw this on our middle school mission trip last week. those kids worked hard. they loved others well. i am proud of them and excited to see how God keeps using them. God also used one of the high school students on our student leadership team to give me a word from Him that was incredibly timely and encouraging - this 15 year old young woman had the depth to listen to God and then the courage to share what He said. blown away.

- i need 8 hours of sleep every night. that's still true. waiting for the day when it isn't.

i don't even have any pictures to spice this thing up.

i'm hosting community dinner on sunday. and making homemade pizza. i'll try to remember to document that and share it.

peace.

the nephs and other things: the week in photos

I told you when my nephews visited there'd be photos. Just following through. There've been other things too. A scavenger hunt. A retreat. Some tie-dye. This is my past couple of weeks. (severe headache and exhaustion not photoed)

 You guys. He's the cutest. Look at him. This is luke, almost 3.

 So is he. I mean. Woah. James, age 5.

 Watching this crazy thunderstorm with Daddy (my bro, Andrew).

 He thinks it's hilarious to pretend to sleep. It is. It's also adorable. 

 Then I tore myself away from my nephews for a wonderful retreat with our Student Leadership Team. These people are legit and I love them. And so does Jesus.

 This is our summer staffer, Clayton. He's legit too. And a Whitefield grad, so, love that.

 Then back to my nephs. This is tired aunty. But no other place I'd rather be.

Maybe Hawaii. JK.

 Holding him is my favorite.

 Silliness.

 The brothers melt my heart.

 Bedtime story. I'm going to be sad when Luke doesn't need a paci anymore for bedtime.

 This is Luke running away from me at the Nelson. Don't worry. I caught him. We laughed.

 These boys grocery shop like pros. I bought them cake-pops and chocolate milk. Their parents were THRILLED. 

 Then my sweet friend Klarisa had baby Malachi. I'm his godmother and so in love with him already. I'm not called the crazy baby lady for no reason, folks.

 Then Student Life went on a scavenger hunt at the Legends. Love these troublemakers. 

 Love this troublemaker most of all.

 Sweet baby James. I don't get to call him baby to his face anymore, but I do it anyway.

 Sweetest trouble you'll ever meet.

 This kid is brave and good like you won't believe.

 Then we tie-dyed with some middle school girls.

Love them.

Life is crazy and it's good. Jesus is better.