Caring for Orphans

I've been living and working in Manhattan for about two months now. I would say the honeymoon period in my job and in moving to a new(ish) place has about worn off. And I still love it just as much. 

My job is harder, emotionally, for me than I thought it would be. I was happy that I wasn't working with birth parents so that I wouldn't have to interact with that level of brokenness/terrible decision-making that gets your kids taken away from you. I thought I would be shielded from having to think about that reality very much. But the truth is, the foster care system is a beast. 

It's hard to sit and talk with a 17 year old foster child who is so tired of being in the system that when she turns 18, she just wants to be done - even though she hasn't finished high school, doesn't have a job, and truly doesn't have the skills to make it on her own. To sit across from her and tell her, "Yes, the system sucks. I'm not saying that it doesn't and I'm not saying that you're wrong to feel that way. But you are not ready. You've got to stick it out because you're not doing what you need to do to be ready to leave when you're 18." To try to communicate that it's not that I think she won't be successful ever, but that she won't be successful now. To watch tears stream down her face because she's been in the system for 12 years and was never adopted. 

It's hard to visit with two little girls who tell you, "I know the judge says we can't live with our mom, but why can't we live with our dad? Why isn't our big sister living with us too? We just want to go home." To not be able to tell them when they might be able to go home or who they might be able to live with. To try to help them understand that everyone just wants them to be safe. 

It's hard to recommend that a child be removed from a foster home because, even though the foster parents have the best intentions, they are unequipped to handle the level of behaviors and mental illness a child displays because of what an adult has done to her. And now another family has to give up on on her and again she gets the message that she is unloveable. 

My job is full of hard things. I understand why the turnover rate in child welfare is so high. But I also have hope. I have hope that Jesus will make all things right, whether here in this life or in the next. That his heart breaks for these orphans. 

I know that his heart breaks because Scripture is full of commands to His people to take care of the widows and the orphans. Friends, these are the orphans in our community. Jesus wants us to take care of them. I'm not saying that everybody needs to become a foster parent - it's a big commitment with a lot of reward and a lot of hardship. But do pray about it. And if you can’t be a foster parent, find another way to take care of the orphans in our midst. Support a foster parent. It is a hard job, you guys. Foster Parent need people who are understanding and sympathetic to vent to or give them a break. Get your church involved in raising money to buy care packages for kids in foster care, to buy gift cards so they can get new clothes, Christmas present to help ease the load for foster parents. Volunteer to drive your friends’ foster child to appointments, or watch the rest of the kids so they can do it. I guess what I’m trying to say, is pray about how God wants you involved in the lives of orphans in your community. Because He does. It’s not about guilt or adding to your already over-crowded schedule. Have a conversation with Jesus about what He wants from you. And if you need practical advice, let me know. J

I know that Jesus’ heart breaks for these foster kids. That he loves them with the love of a Father and a Mother and that he is filled with anger at the injustice that has been done to them. He is the Healer and will make all things new. And He uses His people in that process – we get to be a part of the redemptive work that Jesus is doing in the world. Isn’t that incredible? 

May we be ready for His call.